We moved. We're now in the new place but not exactly happily settled. The move didn't go all that well, but ok. The settling in didn't go all that well, but ok. Our brand new tv broke last night...but ok. We'll get there. These are inconveniences--annoyances, not Problems. In the grand scheme of things, I can't even complain. But the biggest issue right now is the very real possibility of having to find a new home for the Boy Dog. It's a long story and I can't get into it right now, but rest assured, it's not because of anything he did. It's kind of hard to get anywhere when this is really all we can think about.
In the midst of all this, I've been working more from home and trying to juggle work sans babysitter. Ideally I'd like to have someone part-time so I can take more jobs, but if the jobs don't come, I can't exactly pay someone. So this means a lot of working late at night and early into the morning, which can be exhausting. On the flip side, the jobs I am getting these days are closer to what I want to be doing. And then there are moments like the one this morning while I was walking Jackie Mack and thinking I should chuck it all in and start over with a new career. Medical school at 34, anyone? Or what about law? We've been pestering our lawyer friends lately for advice, maybe I should just go to law school myself and answer my own questions.
Enough of the woe is me.
Sunday was one year to the day that we brought H. home from Korea. He officially joined our family on December 1. Where did that year go? How is it that we are now parents to a 1 and 1/2 year old who walks around the apartment with an armful of books declaring, "I read!" We watched some footage the other night of his first hours and days with us. When was he ever that small? So fragile? Because now all I can see is the boy with the full mouth of teeth who can't help but run and crash and dive onto his new rug and then laugh hard, like he's just told the best joke ever.
He loves his big new room. He loves when I chase him from the kitchen to the living room to his room. He loves to climb in my lap a thousand times a day to have his favorite books read to him. He loves to dip his hand in the dog's water bowl, to pull out all my cookbooks, to climb into his chest of drawers. He loves--I mean loves--raisins.
Last year at Thanksgiving we were traveling to Korea. This year, we were traveling to New Jersey...when we got rear-ended. It was pretty awful. When the car hit us, it sounded like a massive can being crushed. Turned around, H. was okay. Smiling even. We pulled over and Mr. Fits surveyed the damage. There was none to our car but the car that hit us was a wreck in the front. While H. and I waited for my husband to handle matters outside, all I could think was I am so thankful no one got hurt. The other car had pulled in front of us and the three adults who were in it looked a little shell shocked. I was fine, but shaking. It could have been so much worse and I guess you can't help but let your mind go there. I was looking ahead at the other car when I noticed three little heads pop up. I don't think any of them were in carseats. Jesus, it could have been so much worse.
If I was lacking any kind of perspective then, I think getting hit knocked it right back into me. So their car got banged up--that's a headache. So our tv broke, our couch couldn't fit through the door when we moved, things aren't running as smoothly as we'd hoped right now. But we'll get there. It will get better because it can.