Note: I started this post almost a week ago. We ran into some sleeping turbulence, teething and warm weather, so I am just now getting around to completing it.
Recently BrooklynMama was talking about balance, and how women go about finding it in their lives. Not just balancing work and family and the details of life, but finding a balance within your family or domestic set-up that you are comfortable with. No matter how far women have come in the last couple of decades, the home is still pretty much the woman's work. This is not to say that men don't pull their share, or haven't at least figured out with their partner a system that works, i.e. daily dog walking v. preparing dinner. While I'm sure there are some couples who feel it all evens out in the end, I don't think it's nuts to say that more women than men carry the load of domestic work. Yes, even when both partners are working.
But the purpose of this post is not to explore whether it's right or wrong or why it works for some and doesn't for others. Most of the women I know are still trying to find that balance within their lives, so it's still a somewhat tenuous position to be in.
This morning I was looking at the Company Store catalog. Actually, it's called company kids, and the cover boasted a big sale. We are in the market for a small rug for H's room, so I gave it a go. And I was absolutely horrified--no, repulsed--by what I saw inside. There is a clear divide in the language used to describe the boys' products versus the girls' products. I am a sometimes-copywriter, so I know how these things work and I pay attention to them. But it would take a moron not to notice the discrepancy. For instance: the boys' rooms included phrases like "hatch their imaginations"... "team player"......"a league of your own"..."pave the way"..."above and beyond." The words "science"..."winner"..."explore"...and "hero" were sprinkled liberally, as if boys' bedrooms were a breeding ground for greatness. (Insert perverted comment here.)
Now let's get to the girls' verbiage. Ready? "Fun felines." "Beds in bloom." "Fairys and flowers...every girl's favorites." "May flowers." "Garden variety."
Bored yet?
Wait--it gets better. While the males are off exploring, excelling in sports, or on safari, the females get to "imagine" a "neat and organized play space." Okay boys, you go off into your fantasy land of fun where you can be anything you dare to be and we'll just hang back and make sure everything's organized.
But the best part had to be the spread on pages 52 and 53. The images are of girls and their version of make believe--playing house. Two girls stand in front of a toy ironing board, complete with laundry cart (with liner, $12.99) full of clothes to be ironed. There's also a pretty pastel washing machine and dryer set. And for those who prefer to remain in the kitchen, a stove, sink and refrigerator. The headline reads: "so many chores so much fun." Are you fucking kidding me? Honestly, if you have to sell your product, at least sell kids on imagination. But selling them on chores? I beg you to tell me the last time you faced a dirty house and said, "I can't wait! I get to clean all day! How lucky am I?"
Obviously the disparity between what men do and what women do in an otherwise equal relationship exists for a reason. No matter how forward thinking you and your spouse are, the um, reward of house chores almost always gets awarded to the woman. The catalog takes it to an extreme, but I don't think that when it comes to play, kids are being encouraged to veer too far out of gender expectations. I'm not blaming parents here, I'm referring to marketing and societal conditioning. From what I've seen, the whole boys will be boys and girls should stay girls mantra still exists.
The thing is, it would have been so easy for the girls on pp. 52-53 to be playing with pretend doctors' kits or looking at pretend specimens under pretend microscopes. Or going on pretend safari with the boys (separate tents, of course). But instead, the boys got the world and the girls got to make it pretty.
What. The. F.
