Wish You Were Here

The boy and I have escaped the city to live out the last days of summer as they were meant to be lived: by the sea, chasing gulls, eating fresh berries and homemade food, and waking up with the birds. (One of us is not too happy about that, but sacrifices must be made, I suppose.)

We have been spending our late mornings and early afternoons on the beach, and H. loves it. He is in his glory here. I know I have written about this before, but to watch him running alongside waves or crouching down to investigate hermit crabs or even to laugh into the wind, brings me back to my childhood on these same shores. It is almost as if time has stood still, and all that has moved around us is the tide. I swear the air is the same.

***

It is now almost a month since we have accepted our referral and still no progress has been made. I have been reassured that things are moving slowly, but moving, yes. We haven't even filed our request for a visa because we are still waiting on some documents. I thought since I’ve been here once before, when we adopted H, that I would be an old pro at it. The waiting is hard though, and the uncertainty even more so. I watch people around me pick out clothes for their infants, share snapshots of first smiles, labor over what bottles to choose, and I can't help but be wistful. It hurts. He feels so far away and a photo is all I have to keep him close.

***

Tonight we are going out to a clam shack for dinner, where I will finally give in to the temptation of fried seafood and oysters on the halfshell. I've been trying to be good, but tonight there is no other way.

Comments

[Kay/Hanazono]

Things moving slowly is really, really hard. Hope you enjoy the rest of your trip -- fried seafood, especially!

Hang in there.

[Jill]

It is almost as if time has stood still, and all that has moved around us is the tide. I swear the air is the same.

I love that... it really captures how you are feeling and i can almost smell the sea air (and i am in my playroom - go figure!)...

thank you for all expressing how even though you have a joyful two year old the waiting is still a frustrating necessity.

enjoy the rest of your vacation!

[figlet]

If you see one of those whales, you know the ones I mean, tell him LSP says "Hiiiiiiiiiii". Hope the fried clams hit the spot. Wish your wait would move along nicely now.

[marla]

Next summer you'llhave 2 boys on the beach and the waiting will be wisked away with the tide.