Sometimes Flossing Is Not A Good Thing

Remember when I listed my worst fears? Well, I forgot to include a very important one. Overflowing toilets. I often have nightmares about them. I think that if you were to look in a dream book, it would tell you a lot about my state of mind and all my weaknesses. But the truth is that I am afraid of overflowing toilets while I am awake too, so what does that say about me? (Please don't answer.)

Have you seen that commercial for the toilet cleaner that's a tablet you throw in and then your toilet basically overflows with suds? I get heart palpitations when I see it. And yet. It also plays to one of my other neuroses which is the need to keep everything clean and disinfected. What's a girl to do? I am intrigued and repulsed at the same time. I am reprigued. No. I am impulsed. I might just have to buy it and then shut my eyes and scream as it does its work.

***
While we were on vacation, H. used his cousins' Thomas the Train Training Toothpaste. Say that fast five times. Now every day he asks for Tommy Toothpaste, and I can't help but think he's a character on The Sopranos.

****
Today we spent a lovely morning at Jones Beach. The weather was beautiful and it wasn't crowded at all. Of course, there was the requisite Guy With G-String Bathing Suit, except calling it a bathing suit is extremely generous. It was more like a cul-de-sac. Shortly after arriving, he decided to lube up, which meant bending over to get his legs and ankles--and it also meant that we got a not-so-exclusive view of his kerbangers. Even the seagulls, who are always on the lookout for something meaty, were horrified.

***
We are still waiting on I600 approval, so I have plenty of time to fill my head with nonsense while I pretend not to obsess.

Comments

[chicagomama]

did you really have to share the kerbanger story with us? was it under the assumption that 'pain shared is pain halved'? Because I am now repulsed and yet at the same time convulsed with laughter. the seagulls are what did it for me. crickey! look at that meat!

[Figlet]

I'm going to teach you how to turn the shut off valves on a toilet. It does wonders for peace of mind. Until you can get someone else to come in and fix the problem.

[marla]

I know you didn't want an answer, but what I think it says about you is that you don't want more crap in your life... especially around your ankles.